Categories
Paternal care

12 Caregiver Blogs You Should Be Reading

Being a caregiver can feel a lot like being a lone ranger. We know other caregivers are “out there,” but our day-to-day lives don’t allow us to meet with others who are facing the same challenges we face. Many caregivers go online to search for other caregivers to light their path.

Having access to these insights can make a big difference, since research shows that caregivers manage better if they feel confident that about handling the daily hassles of caregiving. A 2016 University of Pittsburgh study that drew from the experiences of 91 caregiving families shows that caregivers with a greater sense of self-efficacy (the belief that you can handle a situation) were less likely to be depressed. While you know better than anyone the specific problems you and your loved one must address, you can still learn a lot from other caregivers and experts.

Luckily, more and more caregivers today are sharing their own experiences and insights via blogs. These sites not only provide useful tips and techniques, they also allow you to take part in an online community and social support system – which is especially beneficial if you and your loved one are isolated. If you have access to a computer or smartphone, you can easily reach out to others through caregivers’ blogs. Also, you can often ask the bloggers or readers questions directly through the comments sections or via direct email.

What do the best blogs have in common? They remind us we’re not alone. They give us a mirror, and place to go to, a pal who has dealt with some of the same fears and frustrations we have. The best blogs remind us why we do what we do. They remind us to take a minute. That it’s OK, we’re OK. The best blogs invite us to tag along.

We put together a list of 12 of the best blogs out there to help family caregivers in their own caregiving journeys. Who knows, maybe you’ll be inspired to start blogging about your own caregiving experience!

1. Transition Aging Parents

Blogger, author, and speaker Dale Carter is a long-distance caregiver to her mother, and a passionate believer in informed caregiving. Her seven-year-old blog features guest bloggers who touch on all aspects of caregiving, from practical issues such as finances and housing to Carter’s personal experiences as a caregiver and speaker who connects with caregivers nationally. She is author of the book “Transitioning Your Aging Parent”. The blog also features video and audio presentations by Carter on topics like “mindful caregiving,” plus interviews with caregiving experts.

Go to the blog.

2. As Our Parents Age

Lifelong educator Marti Weston created this extensive blog as a way to organize her experiences living with aging parents. Her years of blog posts provide a wealth of resources to caregivers and others living and working with the elderly, including issues such as managing Medicare and treating the elderly with respect and consideration. Her main blog is also linked to other blogs that focus on specific issues such as her experience with detached retinas and her father’s experience learning to use an iPad. Her posts also cover deep and personal topics such as talking about and experiencing the death of a parent.

Go to the blog.

3. The Alzheimer’s Reading Room

This blog was started by Bob DeMarco, who left a professional career on Wall Street to become a full-time caregiver for his mother in Florida. DeMarco created this blog to provide resources and information for other Alzheimer’s caregivers. You’ll find less of DeMarco’s personal story and more of the practical strategies you may need, such as how to get someone with Alzheimer’s to brush their teeth. As the field of Alzheimer’s disease research and care can change rapidly, it helps to have resources like this one with the most up-to-date information.

Go to the blog.

4. Caregiver Warrior Blog

With caregiving, even common, daily tasks can be a significant challenge. Susanne White became a caregiver when her father collapsed with walking pneumonia due in part to his exhaustion from caring for her mother. At that moment it became clear to White that those daily tasks and interactions were proving overwhelming for her parents. White stepped in to help her father care for her mother, who was in the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease. Although both of her parents have died, White continues to maintain her blog and site as a resource for other caregivers.

Go to the blog.

5. Caregiving Café

Blogger and site developer Lynn Greenblatt began this blog as a way to share the knowledge she gained as she dove into caregiving for her husband. As she notes in her “About” section, this was a job that she had no training for – much like many other caregivers in the world. Her site offers caregivers’ personal stories, caregiving tips and detailed information about practical issues that arise when caring for an aging loved one, from health and nutrition to estate planning and medication management.

Go to the blog.

6. Dementia Today

Based in Washington State, psychologist Jennifer Gerhold authors this blog as a source of recent news and information related to dementia caregiving. Dementia is linked to a number of other conditions, so her updates also include news and information about related health concerns. This is a news-oriented site that will bring you the latest research news into what works and what doesn’t in the field of dementia care.

Go to the blog.

7. Caregiver Stories

The Family Caregiving Alliance maintains this blog as a way for caregivers to share their stories. You’ll find experiences from caregivers in a wide range of situations, from adults caring for aging parents and siblings to parents caring for children with special needs. The site also provides links to resources and more information about practical topics such as legal advocacy and different health conditions that may be affecting your loved one.

Go to the blog.

8. The Organized Caregiver

Caregiver Lynda Shrager, MSW has been a caregiver for her mother and her child – and is also a breast cancer survivor. Her training and experience in occupational therapy and social work shine through her posts. Her accessible style of writing emphasizes organizational strategies that can make caregiving easier and more efficient.

She is the author of “Otherwise Healthy – A Planner to Focus Your Thoughts on Organizing Life after Being Diagnosed with Breast Cancer,” and regularly writes the newspaper column “Moms RX,” which appears in publications nationwide.

Go to the blog.

9. Take Care

This blog is one of the many resources the AARP makes available to its members and the public. It features a range of practical information that may be of use to caregivers and their loved ones. Recent posts touch on the importance of self-care for caregivers, policies that affect caregiving families, personal stories from caregiving families and the value of assistive devices, such as hearing aids.

Go to the blog.

10. Shake, Rattle and Roll

“Shake, Rattle and Roll” is a personal blog written by Kate Kelsall, a woman in her 60s who has been living with Parkinson’s disease for over 15 years. Kelsall writes about life with Parkinson’s disease as well as the experience of someone being cared for by loved ones. Few of those receiving care write about their experience, and Kate opens up about her life, her marriage, and her treatment with incredible resiliency and a wicked sense of humor.

Go to the blog.

11. The Battle We Didn’t Choose: My Wife’s Fight With Breast Cancer

“The Battle We Didn’t Choose: My Wife’s Fight With Breast Cancer” is both a blog and a photo journal, and it shares one young couple’s experience with cancer. Through black and white photos, Jennifer’s husband, Angelo, lets us into their world. As a spouse, he reminds us what it’s like to try to be there for those we love, and what it’s like to try to meet their needs even when they can’t express them. Angelo writes, “My main role was whatever Jen needed. If Jen needed to laugh, I was a comedian. If Jen needed quiet, I didn’t talk. If Jen needed love, my arms were open. I don’t think there is any set way to be or road to follow, but what helped me was listening to Jen and trying to stay a step ahead of her.”

Angelo writes that it was difficult for family and friends who were not in their day-to-day lives to comprehend what they were going through, but the photos opened their awareness. We see Jennifer with and without hair. We see her putting on mascara even though her head is bald. We see her floating in a sea. We see the exhaustion and the frustration in a way words could never convey. But we also see the two of them side by side with clown noses. We see the whole of their lives, and even though Jennifer lost her fight with cancer, we still get to keep her, keep them — and that’s pretty amazing.

Go to the blog.

12. Elaine Mansfield’s Blog

One of the biggest fears of caregiving is that as overwhelming, exhausting, and frustrating as it is, it will end. We think our story (or blog) ends when caregiving ends, but it doesn’t. Elaine is a storyteller, and she shares her journey as caregiver to her husband, and the loss of her husband, in her blog. Since 2008, Elaine has continued to blog, to open our hearts and minds to what it means to walk through and beyond caregiving.

Elaine draws on her extensive background in nutrition, palliative care, and bereavement counseling. Her writing reflects her 40 years as a student of Jungian psychology, mythology, philosophy, and meditation. As a teacher and mentor, Elaine facilitates a support group called Continuing Bonds at Hospicare of Ithaca for women who have lost their partners and spouses. She also writes for the Hospicare and Palliative Care of Tompkins County newsletter and website in upstate New York, where she retired from her work as a nutritionist, exercise trainer and women’s health counselor in 2011.

Elaine’s blog reflects the day-to-day questions and insights of what it means to “go on,” to find new purpose and to hold dear the memories of those we’ve lost. We get to know this intelligent, brave woman on days when she doesn’t feel so brave. On days when she’s contemplative, searching for comfort, and finding new guides as she walks us through the tentative paths of grief and loss.

Categories
Baby Games

7 Incredibly Enjoyable Games For Kids

Outdoor games eh? Do the smartphone-savvy, tablet-friendly, hi-tech kids of today know about going out to play?

Yes, they do!

All we need to do is introduce them to a few outdoor games that we played as children, add some more ‘intelligent’ ones for them to improve upon, and we’re set. The idea is to convince them that playing outdoors is anytime more fun than breaking our heads over electronic games.

So, how do you do that?

RELATED: How To Engage Children – The Essential Guide

Before we enlist a few outdoor games, let’s first quickly learn how to engage children outside.

The new generation kids do not have the patience for boredom which is why:

  • outdoor games must be fun and engaging
  • games that we play outdoors should allow them to use their intelligence because that’s what attracts them to electronic  gadgets
  • outdoor games must be fast-paced and unique, much like their electronic counterparts

If these points sound too intimidating and stressful for you, we suggest you relax. All the traditional games that we’ve ever played outdoors can be tweaked and customised to suit our new-age children. So, sit back and read on:

7 ideas for outdoor games for your child to have fun!

1. Tag, you’re it!

Ever heard of the Hindi idiom bali ka bakra? It simply means scapegoat. This one is a child-friendly and funny version of trying to ‘tag’ one person as the scapegoat.

How do you play this game?

  • A minimum of three players is required to play this outdoor game.
  • By toss or mutual agreement, one person (the first scapegoat!)  goes first. He/she closes his/her eyes and counts to 10 while the others spread out in the open area. All players need to be visible to the person who is counting, so the distance between the players and the raider cannot be too much.
  • If your child is counting first, ensure that the distance between him/her and you is minimal at first. We want them to be involved, not scared!
  • Once the counting is done, the raider needs to run and catch another person to tag. Tagging is done by patting only at the back. Tapping at any other part of the body is not accepted. This is what makes this game a little challenging and fun.
  • The next person to be tagged has to then run around to catch another person to tag. The game stops when every person has been tagged at least once.
  • The person tagged the most number of times loses the game.

Make the game flexible and customize the rules for your child as and when you want. It’s your game at the end of the day!

How do you play this game?

  • Using chalk, draw the hopscotch pattern on any concrete floor outside. If you’re playing on sand, use a stick to draw the outline.
  • Usually, hopscotch is a numbered pattern where each box pattern is numbered from 1 to 9 or 10.
  • Taking turns, each participant throws a small pebble so that it stays within the boundary of a numbered box. As the game progresses, each player hops from one box to another. Whoever reaches the highest level (throwing the pebble in the box with the highest number), wins.

What’s the twist?

  • The person to have reached the highest level gets to draw another box, with the next higher number, for the other players to cover before they can win. So basically, the winner is making it tough for the others to win.

Let your child win this one and add as many numbered boxes as he/she wants. A sneaky way to practise numbers, no?

2. Traffic on the road

This one is for the little boys and girls who enjoy pretend-play. We indulge in quite a few pretend-play activities indoors like playing house, doctor, and chef; so this one is for outdoors.

How do you play this game?

  • Within a team of minimum three players, taking turns, assign a player to play the cop and other players will pretend to be vehicles.
  • You can take the role of a pedestrian.
  • Use handmade craft traffic lights to play this game.
  • The policeman directs traffic and stops vehicles to let pedestrians go and vice versa.
  • Play in an open and safe place so that the pretend traffic has enough space to navigate.
  • It’s a fun way to teach children about road rules as well.

A twist!

You can let kids use their toy cars, bikes, or any other vehicle that they own and let them experience a pretend day on the pretend road!

3. Marble pond game

This game needs a little preparation and can be played as an indoor or outdoor game. However, playing it outdoors, especially in a garden, means more fun and less mess.

How do you play this game?

  • Place several marbles in a huge bucket or tub and fill it with water. You can use a toy swimming pool as well.
  • The person who gets the most marbles out of the water in a minute’s time wins!

The rush to hunt for the marbles and the messy play with water makes this game a riot of giggles. Don’t agree? Try it on a hot summer evening and see!

4. Run…statue!

Don’t move or you’re out.

The run and statue game is a favourite among outdoor games that kids like to play.

How do you play this game?

  • By toss or mutual agreement, one player goes first.
  • He/she is supposed to say ‘statue’ when everyone is running all over the place. As soon as the word ‘statue’ is said, the runners have to stop immediately. The smallest movement and you’re out!

It’s best if a parent says statute and lets the kids run around. I’m sure we and the kids, both prefer that!

5. Cat and mouse chase

Looking for easy outdoor games? Nothing beats this one!

The catch-me-if-you-can game is probably older than the Ramayana and is always fun to play. Within a group of two or more kids, one kid needs to catch the other(s) and whoever gets caught first, runs and catches the others. We keep running and catching like cats and mice.

This can be a never-ending game till mom calls us inside and curfew begins!

6. I sent a letter to my father and on the way I dropped it

Except that the letter is more of a piece of cloth.

This is one of those outdoor games in which children of all ages can be involved. The players keep singing the song as they play.

‘I sent a letter to my father

On the way I dropped it,

Somebody came and picked it up

And put it in his pocket.’

Is that you? Is that you?

I sent a letter…

How do you play this game?

  • The players sit in a circle and there is no limit to the number of players that we can include.
  • By toss or mutual agreement, one child starts to run outside the circle with a small piece of cloth (the size of a hanky) in his/her hands.
  • The person who is running has everyone’s back facing him/her.
  • While running, the runner has to drop the hanky behind anyone and tap the person’s back to indicate the letter delivered.
  • The player who now has the hanky has to run and catch the first player (who dropped the hanky behind him/her) before he/she finds a place to sit within the circle.

The game continues until everyone has had a chance to drop the letter or when players are too tired of playing!

7. Treasure hunt with flags

This is the conventional treasure hunt, but with a twist.

How do you play this game?

  • Get kids to make paper flags beforehand.
  • Choose a comparatively large area/field to play this outdoor game in.
  • Place flags and mark different corners of the playing area as castle, garden, treasure bank, pond and so on. This is a pretend play so you have to imagine the various landscapes even though they’re not actually there.
  • Make a map on a piece of chart that shows on which corner the treasure bank can be found. This will be a very basic map in which ‘X’ marks the treasure spot.
  • This game is best played in a large area so that one needs to run to reach from one marked area to another. Once a person reaches the treasure, he/she wins.

What’s the twist?

  • The person who reaches the treasure first tries to safeguard it. Other players will try and reach the treasure by reaching the point and placing a flag on the spot while the first person tries to stop them by blocking their way (but one person can’t stop so many people at once, no?)
  • Once all players have been able to plant their flags on the treasure, the game stops or you can play rounds till everyone gets a chance to save the treasure.

This game can go on and on till the tummy calls for a fabulous post-play meal! Ready to play?

Categories
Parenting

POSITIVE PARENTING: PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP

When it comes to family life, everyone strives to figure out how the relationship between parents and children can become ideal. Positive parenting techniques work well for raising children with discipline and good moral values, and are every parents’ dream. However, it is not an easy feat. And it is important to know that the parent child relationship is a two-way street, in other words, it is actually a partnership between a parent and their child.

A garden with different flowers becomes beautiful when it blossoms. Similarly, if parents learn how to be a ‘gardener’ and are able to recognize their child’s personality and nourish it, then their ‘garden’ will become fragrant! This is what positive parenting is all about!

When parents develop effective parenting skills, they are able to take the initiative in filling the generation gap. When parents start to understand the balance of where to place boundaries, where to encourage, and where to discourage, then their children will not get spoiled. In this way they become good parents. When people do not know how to be a good parent, distance between the two develops.

“Every young adult has the potential power to help the entire world. He just needs the right guidance and support,” says Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan.

With proper understanding, youth can also strengthen their relationship with their parents.

With an aim to offer an in-depth, complete understanding of today’s youth, ParamPujyaDada Bhagwanhas revealed how to raise a child and teenager with pure love and equanimity, so that they blossom in all fields of life. He has given positive parenting solutions for instilling moral values, good manners, and discipline, which work even during adolescence.

Read on to get a clear understanding of how to be a better parent using these effective parenting tips.

Categories
Parenting

Your Guide To Choosing The Best-Suited Care Products For Your Baby

When it comes to purchasing a baby’s skincare products, no mother can settle for less than the best ones. Most new parents mechanically buy baby care products that their respective families have been using for centuries to avoid any troubles.

Image: Shutterstock

However, in the past few years, consumers have evolved, and they are cautious of the ingredients that brands are using, especially when it comes to products for their newborn babies. This tendency has further catapulted the baby care market’s growth with the emergence of more reliable brands offering safe products.
Spoilt For Choice!

Image: Shutterstock

Walking into a baby care products aisle, you will come across numerable products. The idea is to find one that is safe and most-suited for your child. The devil lies in the details and therefore, it is important to turn around the products to analyse the ingredients gone into making those products. Here are some tips to identifying some of the fundamental baby care products basis their ingredients:
Baby Wipes

Image: Shutterstock

These are essential in maintaining basic hygiene and are used on the baby’s skin more than anything else. To ensure you don’t accidentally expose your baby’s sensitive skin to harmful chemicals, chose wipes that don’t have any artificial scent and are water-based. The fabric used in the wet wipes is likely to be a cause of rashes and irritate baby’s sensitive skin because of its chemical process formation. You can easily find wipes that are water-based and made of plant-based natural fabric.
Massage Oils

Image: Shutterstock

It is best to go for Ayurvedic baby oils for various benefits. The use of elements such as shankhpushapi, ashwagandha, durva, tagar, tamalpatra, walnut, orange, etc promotes bone and muscle health. Ayurvedic oils are also known to protect baby’s skin against any skin issues and reverses any previous damage.
Baby Creams

Image: Shutterstock

Creams play a pivotal role in providing and locking-in the optimum level of moisture in a baby’s skin. Anything that is applied to the skin is sure to get absorbed by the skin as well. Therefore, it is crucial to choose creams that are made with elements such as aloe vera, shea butter, beeswax, coconut oil, jojoba oil, Rice bran oil, apricot oil, etc. Use of food-grade and natural preservatives is normal in such creams. However, stay away from the creams that mention the presence of preservatives without revealing their names.
Detergent Powder

Image: Shutterstock

It is essential to use special detergent powder to wash your baby’s clothes. Detergents available in general can leave behind strong odour and elements in baby’s clothes that can irritate the skin and cause rashes. Baby detergent and cleansers made with bio enzymes work the best. Elements such as neem, aloe vera, eucalyptus and mild lemon are best to clean clothes thoroughly and avoid skin irritation

Categories
Health Paternal care

Best winter jackets for kids to keep them looking stylish in the colder weather

(Image: Cultura RF)

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With colder temperatures sweeping in, it’s time to make sure the children are prepared for the transition from autumn into winter.

The best winter jackets for kids will ensure they’re protected against increasingly inclement weather in a fun and stylish way.

Whether you’re looking for winter jackets for boys or girls (or both), we’ve got you covered.

From trendy utility and biker jackets to snug parkas and puffers, see our pick of the best winter jackets for kids below.

The best winter jackets for kids

1. Boden Cosy Sherpa-Lined Anorak

So sleek and stylish, your mini me will be begging to go out and play just so he can wear his new coat.

This Boden winter jacket for kids is super-snug thanks to a soft sherpa lining, and closes close to the chin to keep warmth in – and raindrops out.

It as a cool contrasting zip and handy pockets too. We love.

Price: £42, Boden – buy here nowTheHindu.comThe man who batted for women’s cricketAdd Chrome Extension & Get CashbackYou Should Never Shop Online Without Using This Trick – Here’s Why.by TaboolaSponsored Links

2. M&S Stormwear Padded Coat (2-7 Yrs)

This winter jacket for kids is quite simply padded pink perfection.

Designed to keep those rainy days at bay, it has a water-repellent outer, while a faux fur-lined hood and cosy inner keep things snug.

The longer length ensures extra warmth and the waist belt adds the style.

Price: £36, M&S – buy here now

3. Barbour Girls’ Liddesdale Quilted Jacket

Winter jackets for kids don’t get much more stylish than this slim-fit quilted number from Barbour.

Oozing country cool, it features a chic pink inner that you get little flashes of, an easy-to-use stud fastening and a cord-lined collar, while also keeping your mini me warm.

A practical and pretty investment.

Price: £55, Very – buy here now

4. John Lewis & Partners Girls’ Faux Fur Hooded Jacket

Is there anything cosier than a faux fur jacket? This cute and stylish option from John Lewis is spot on, and comes in an array of sizes, from two to 14 years old.

It boasts a full lining, a zip fastening through the front and a snug hood. The ideal piece for staying warm but looking cool.

Price: £34, John Lewis – buy here now

5. Amazon Essentials Boy’s Hooded Jacket

What’s not to love about this cute camo print hooded jacket from Amazon’s Essentials line.

The must-have jacket is made from Nylon, so is lightweight and water resistant – ideal for the unpredictable British weather. Sizes run from 2 to 13 years old.

Price: from £16.76, Amazon – buy here now

6. Kids Upcycled Lightweight Puffer

Puffers are perfect for keeping warm, and this leopard print number from Gap adds a splash of fashion to the style. 

Ideal to pair with jeans for shopping trips or weekends away, it features a cosy hood and high-performance insulation.

Not only will your little one look good, you’ll feel good too as the jacket is made with 100% recycled shell, fill and lining – and puts 58 discarded plastic bottles to good use. It also comes in pink and a cute heart print.

Price: £44.95, GAP – buy here now

7. Next Parka

Add a pop of colour to your children’s wardrobe with this ultra-cute mustard-toned winter jacket for kids with a snuggly grey faux fur-lined hood.

The winter jacket for boys makes a nice change from darker colours, and also comes in a gorgeous cobalt, orange, and blue colour block pattern. It will keep your little one warm with cosy faux fur lining, too.

What’s more, it’s fully machine washable to keep those muddy splashes in check. Bonus.

Price: From £26, Next – buy here now

8. De feuilles Kids Girls Padded Puffer Coat

Portrait of a smiling young girl

Invest in this stylish puffer style coat to keep your little one snug and warm when the colder weather sets in. The fur trim and colourful detailing adds some fun detailing and the style would work as an everyday school coat or outerwear for the weekend.

Sizes run from 3 to 12 years old and the style also comes in a brighter purple hue too.

9. Kids Regatta Blue Waterproof Jacket

Have you got a child that doesn’t like being weighed down by big chunky jackets? This lightweight option is just the ticket.

Perfect for outdoor adventures, it’s waterproof and comes with a hood and adjustable fastenings to the sleeves for added protection from the elements. 

They can run, play, and head out for walks and stay dry while they’re having fun.

Price: From £20, Matalan – buy here now

10. Black PU Faux Fur Lined Biker Jacket (3-16yrs)

A winter jacket for kids… But make it fashion. This faux leather biker jacket is the last word in cool, and will add a street edge to your mini me’s wardrobe.

Funky as well as functional, it’s also lined with faux fur to make it cosy and snug too. What’s more, the PU leather is wipe clean… What more do you need?

Price: From £38, Next – buy here now

11. Gap Kids 3-in-1 Jacket

Utility jackets are so on-trend and a khaki hue will never date, making this winter jacker for kids a fab investment.

This nifty jacket has a gorgeous pink faux shearling inner, meaning you can wear this coat three ways: the gilet on its own; the utility jacket on its own on warmer days; or both together to keep cosy in cooler climes.

We love the pop of pink and the hood with a detachable faux fur trim too.

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Categories
Authoritative Parenting Parenting

Are you an authoritative parent? Here’s why it is good for your child

Do you allow your children to take independent decisions even while setting boundaries for them? In that case, you might be an authoritative parent.

An authoritative parenting style is quite different from taking the authoritarian approach and calls for being nurturing and listening to kids rather than talking down to them and blindly enforcing rules. In the 1960s, developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind identified three parenting styles–authoritative, authoritarian and permissive–based on the behaviour exhibited by preschoolers. Of these, the authoritative parenting style is characterised by high expectations and high responsiveness. An authoritative parent is responsive to the child’s needs but not indulgent. The parent sets rules and boundaries by open discussion and reasoning, which is why this parenting style is also called “democratic”.

Characteristics of authoritative parents

According to Baumrind, here are some common characteristics of authoritative parents:

1. They listen to their children.

2. They allow their children to express opinions.

3. They encourage their children to discuss options.

4. They foster independence and reasoning.

5. They place limits, consequences, and expectations on their children’s behavior.

6. They express warmth and nurturing.

7. They administer fair and consistent discipline when rules are broken.

8. They expect kids to act with responsibility but if they don’t, they are not given extreme punishment or allowed to get away with bad behaviour.

Encourage kids to talk about their feelings. (Source: Getty Images)
Encourage kids to talk about their feelings. (Source: Getty Images)

Impact of authoritative parenting on children

As per Baumrind’s research, children with authoritative parents showed greater competence, exceptional maturity, assertiveness and self-control. According to Krevans & Gibbs, such children display high levels of moral reasoning, moral conscience and prosocial behaviour. Again, children reared by authoritative parenting have a better mental health condition, as per a study published in European Online Journal of Natural and Social Sciences 2013. “Authoritative parents have unconditional love and acceptance of their children. Expressing love and acceptance helps children to feel safe. Secure children whose parents are authoritative are often cheerful, happy and have good mental health,” the study concluded.

Ways to practice authoritative parenting

Encourage kids to talk about their feelings

Regular communication will allow you to gauge your child’s mood and draw them out when you feel they’re holding back something. Talk to them daily about their day at school, likes and dislike, favourite part of their day, etc. Create a safe space to confide in you if they are scared or upset.

Let them express their opinions

Allow your child to develop a mind of their own. Ask them why they prefer a certain toy, get their opinion on what they would like to sketch, games they like to play, etc. You could also check with them if you’re planning a vacation and allow them to pick places or suggest things to do during the holiday.

Make them self-reliant

Get them used to doing chores at an early age, even if it’s just putting away their play things or setting the table before meals, as they grow older. Watering plants, arranging their bookshelf or study table are some other useful chores. This will teach them to be independent in the long run.

Teach them discipline

By allowing kids to take charge of certain areas of their lives, you are teaching them key life skills. Let them make their own timetable for exams, plan their homework schedule and decide when they can have a cheat day for desserts or junk food

Categories
Parental alienation

Overcoming Parental Alienation: How To Reconnect With Your Kids

When you’re trapped in the vicious cycle of parental alienation, how do you break free and reconnect with your kids? Read on for important tips to help you re-establish healthy, loving relationships with those most dear to you: your children.

Parental Alienation (PA) occurs in high-conflict divorces when one parent turns the children against the other parent. Parents who do this are called Alienating Parents (APs), and they often are not aware that their personal feelings about their ex are not reality. APs are generally stuck in anger and look for a target to blame for their problems and painful feelings. In the case of divorce, that target is their ex, or Targeted Parent (TP).

Trying to parent a child who has been conditioned into believing you’re bad or worse is challenging. What do you do when your child appears to hate you, or refuses to see you? Here are five ways that Targeted Parents can reconnect with their kids.

Address lies and bad-mouthing. 
Conventional wisdom to “say nothing” in the face of bad-mouthing does Targeted Parents a huge disservice. You MUST stand up to propaganda. You wouldn’t smile and say nothing if you were accused of murder, so why should you remain mum when your child tells you: “Mommy says you wanted the divorce because you don’t love us?” Don’t respond in kind, but DO state the facts in an even-handed tone: “I’m sorry Mommy told you that because it’s not true. The divorce was a grown-up problem and had nothing to do with you. I will always love you and I will always be your daddy.” Be prepared to repeat this often. [We are using “Mommy” as an example but this could also be “Daddy.”]

Encourage your child to speak to you directly.
 Parental Alienation functions like a cult. The Alienating Parent (AP) isolates the child from the Targeted Parent (TP) so they only hear the AP’s skewed reality and come to believe that’s The Truth. How do you combat this? Tell your child to come to you if they have questions about anything they’ve heard about you, or something they believe about you that worries them. All children, be they children of divorce or in tact families, need to learn to speak to parents directly instead of using the other as a go-between. Your child might not believe you, but at least they are getting the opportunity to hear your side of the story – a story which might seem more reasonable to them as they mature and develop critical thinking skills.

Manage your emotional reactivity. 
It’s normal to feel angry, scared, and defensive when you’re continually being insulted and slandered by an ex who cannot manage their emotions. But it’s imperative that you do your best to manage your own emotions when you’re around your kids. If your ex tells your children you’re scary and then you act scary (because you get so frustrated you blow your top), you will just confirm your ex’s twisted version of the truth. If you find yourself flying off the handle, get help: therapy, meditation, exercise, journaling, etc. And repeat this mantra: what my ex thinks about me is none of my business.

Continue reaching out. If you no longer have child custody, or if your child refuses visitation, don’t stop trying to have a relationship with him. E-mail, text, send a birthday present, call, show up at school events. Don’t expect to get a civil response, or any response at all. However, don’t interpret a lack of response as a sign that your child doesn’t care that you’re invested in trying to be his parent. Even if your kid says he hates you and doesn’t want to see you, he probably does and is trying to test your commitment. When adult children of PA reconnect with a Targeted Parent they often ask why that parent disappeared, and admit they were hoping to be “rescued” from the AP. When you weary of your child’s rejection, remember: focus on your intention, not the outcome.

Be patient. Rebuilding your relationship with your child is a marathon, not a sprint. It could take years  — even into their adulthood – before you see your efforts pay off. In the meantime, focus on your intention to reconnect and try to let go of worrying about the outcome.

Is parental alienation affecting your relationships with your kids, and your child custody arrangement? Our experienced family law attorneys can help you understand all of your options regarding custody and parenting time and can refer you to other professionals such as family therapist with whom they have worked in the past in cases similar to your own. Please contact us today to schedule your free confidential attorney consultation.

Read More:

Top Tips for Overcoming Parental Alienation

Kids, Divorce, And Manipulation: Three Strategies To Overcome Parental Alienation

Understanding the Signs of Parental Alienation

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Parenting coordinator

Preschool preparations- For you and your child

Starting preschool is the first step towards nurturing the ‘Individual’ self of your child. This is the first time your little one steps out of the house to explore the big wide world. As a parent, it is indeed your biggest concern and responsibility to ensure the best preschool experience for your child. Here are some important things for you to consider before you prepare your child for preschool.

Plan and prepare your child for schooling– Planning for your child’s school days will help them adapt to the change faster than usual. You can begin by introducing subtle changes to their daily routine. For e.g. encourage them to wake up early, bathe and get dressed etc. This will help them familiarize with the school routine.

Visit the preschool with your child before joining- This will help your child get familiar with the school environment. You can also involve your child with some interesting school activities like scribbling with crayons etc. and help them get acquainted with the tasks at hand in school. Get your child introduced to teachers and children in the preschool and encourage them to interact. Make sure your child feels relaxed and at ease before you transfer them from your care to the classroom.

Choose the preschool wisely– Preschool training is a stepping stone for your child’s future. Make sure you choose a school that is in close proximity to your house as that would be convenient for your child. The kind of environment offered there will be a very significant factor in the overall nurturing of your child. Also, do get a clear idea about the activities included in the school curriculum and see if those will be of much interest to your child or not.

Communicate with your child– Keep having regular conversations with your child about their interests and inclinations. That will help your child open up and initiate conversations independently.

Read together– Set up a ‘reading time’ with your child and support their enrichment by reading out interesting stories and poems to them. You must also encourage your child to keep doing their favorite activities that interest them the most. This will help in stimulating mental and motor skills of your child.

Your support and care will define your child’s preschool experience. So, be supportive and appreciative, and witness your child grow into a confident, independent being.

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Paternal care

Paternal involvement might improve the health of the mom, infant

Mothers more likely to breastfeed, less likely to engage in harmful health behaviorsFebruary 05, 2020 | By Kristin Samuelson

Paternal involvement can have positive health impacts for a mother and her baby, according to a new study byNorthwestern Medicine and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

The study found unmarried mothers — with or without an acknowledgement of paternity (AOP) – a document signed by unmarried parents to establish the child’s legal father — are more likely to engage in health-risk behaviors and less likely to engage in protective health behaviors around the time of pregnancy compared to married mothers. The study used information from birth certificates to measure marital status and AOPs for unmarried mothers.

Unmarried women are less likely to have prenatal care during the first trimester of pregnancy, to ever breastfeed, to breastfeed at least eight weeks and are more likely to drink alcohol and smoke during and after pregnancy. The frequency for any of these outcomes was even greater when the mother was both unmarried and an acknowledgement of paternity was not completed. 

The paper was published Feb. 5 in the journal Public Health Reports.

“The period of time when a woman is pregnant and eventually delivers her baby (the perinatal period) is a significant period of time because the health behaviors she adopts can impact her health and that of the baby,” said co-author Dr. Craig Garfield, professor of pediatrics and medical social sciences at Northwestern University Feinberg School of medicine and a physician at Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago.

Not much is known about how the presence of a father affects families and children, especially for unmarried couples having kids, which represents about 40% of U.S. births today. This study aimed to gain more insight in this area. 

The study analyzed data from 32 Pregnancy Risk Assessment Monitoring System (PRAMS) sites from 2012 to 2015 and a total of 113,020 participants. PRAMS is an ongoing state-based surveillance system of maternal behaviors, attitudes and experiences before, during and shortly after pregnancy. 

It did not analyze parental involvement in same-sex couples because the data used in the study was from statewide databases that acknowledge paternity – not parenting – roles. Garfield said more research is needed on how the support of any partner – man or woman – impacts the health of the mother and baby.  

40%Unmarried couples having kids represents about 40% of U.S. births today

The study’s findings could help motivate doctors who care for children and families to explore the status and quality of the parents’ relationship, Garfield said. 

“Let’s say a mom attends health care visits alone. Simply asking about the home situation and level of paternal involvement may provide insight into the need for assistance or support,” Garfield said. “In contrast, if both parents attend the visit together, this visit may serve as an opportunity to engage fathers on the importance of their role in their child’s well-being, and to educate and support them in their transition to parenthood.”

By identifying paternal presence during this period, physicians could develop and tailor appropriate interventions and practices based on parental relationship dynamics to improve the health of the baby, Garfield said. 

“We know that health-risk maternal behaviors during pregnancy and after delivery can increase the risk of adverse infant health outcomes,” said lead author Katherine Kortsmit in the Division of Reproductive Health at the CDC. “While we weren’t able to directly assess paternal involvement with the data available, this study suggests that engaging fathers and paternal figures may help improve maternal health behaviors around the time of pregnancy.”

This research was supported by the CDC. Topics:Feinberg School of MedicineResearchWomen’s HealthFor Journalists: View the news release for media contacts and assets.